


Take Time and Find

by kzam



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Moving On, Multi, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9263936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kzam/pseuds/kzam
Summary: In which Cloud's relationship takes a turn for the worst, so he turns to his four closest friends for some advice. ASGZC.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tobiroth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tobiroth/gifts).



> Dedicated to Tobi, who helped me plot this fic out once upon a time! I've always admired your thoughts and perspectives on these characters and how they would react in so many different situations. Thank you so much ^.^

Under normal circumstances, it would probably be considered rude to show up at someone’s home unannounced—especially late in the evening, well past the average person’s bedtime. This wasn’t normal though, which was what Cloud reminded himself as he raised a fist and knocked on his friend’s door. 10PM, 7AM…it didn’t matter. Zack would always be there for him, and that was more than he could say about _some_ people lately.

Sure enough, the door swung open a minute later, a very confused Zack staring down at him in surprise. “Shit, did we have plans?”

“Nope,” Cloud responded, stepping right into his personal space and crumpling up against his chest.

The response was instantaneous. Warm, inviting arms wrapped around him without question, pulling Cloud inside and kicking the door shut behind them. And then they stayed like that, silently fulfilling the entire purpose of this particular late night visit. He exhaled a long, content breath after a few minutes like that, finally able to smile just a little.

“Uh, Spike?” Zack ventured, not bothering to let go. “You okay?”

“’m good,” he said, muffled against Zack’s chest. “Just needed a hug.”

“You came all the way down here in the middle of the night for a hug?”

“Yeah.”

He could feel Zack the weight of the unspoken question, but some of the pressure eased as Zack continued to hold him steady. His fist had balled at some point, clutching at the fabric of his friend's shirt.

“Alright,” Zack started, not budging an inch, “what’s wrong?”

“What, I can’t just come and ask my best friend for a hug from time to time?”

“You can come hug me whenever. Doesn’t mean you normally do.” A fair point, but one which Cloud scoffed at. Then he prepared himself for Zack’s next words, knowing they knew each other too well for this type of beating around the bush. “Usually you go to Lux when you need a late night hug.”

And there it was. A subtle hint at the obvious, which was exactly why Cloud had shown up in the first place.

He stood silently, gripping at his friend’s shirt just a moment longer before hearing a sound that distracted him thoroughly. Zack’s name being called from the next room over. The bedroom.

“Shit,” Cloud muttered, wide eyed and guilty. “I didn’t mean to—”

“Relax. It’s just Gen, and he’s really not gonna mind. Lemme go tell him what’s up, okay? Then we’ll talk.”

“Are you sure I’m not—”

“You’re not interrupting. Why don’t you go get a drink or something? I’ll be right back.”

Another sleepy holler from the next room, and Zack was off, scurrying toward the door in a way that brought a smile to Cloud’s face. Genesis was always at his most amusing when he was impatient. The silence that followed quickly wiped the smile away though, a clear indication they were now having a hushed conversation. About _him._

The good thing about it all was, Genesis would likely be just as concerned as Zack rather than flat out annoyed by the late night visit. It was only natural since they were friends, too—they’d known one another for more than three years now, since Zack first decided to take Cloud under his wing. Zack had already been involved with Genesis and his other boyfriends for a while at that point, and it hadn't taken long for them to warm up to Cloud as well. Not when Zack was inviting him over constantly, like they'd known each other forever.

“You’re not thirsty?” Zack asked, re-emerging from the bedroom with a tentative smile.

Cloud hadn’t taken a single step. “Not really.”

“Wanna sit down then?”

Zack was already on his way to the couch, so Cloud forced himself to head that way as well, plopping down by his friend’s side.

“I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Cloud started apologetically.

“Don’t worry about it. What’s up?”

“I kinda got into a fight with Lux,” he admitted, allowing himself to breath a pent up sigh.

“Seriously? You guys never fight.”

It was almost funny how genuinely Zack seemed to believe those words, his voice going up to an almost squeaky octave in his surprise. And really, Cloud understood why. Luxiere was sweet and handsome, and had been with Cloud since their infantry days. Since before Cloud had even met _Zack,_ and it felt like they really had known each other forever now. They hadn't though. Luxiere was the one who'd been there all along when he really thought about it. Together they made SOLDIER, using each other as extra motivation to push through the rigorous entry requirements. Where in Gaia would he be right now if it hadn’t been for that man?

And here he was, conscience heavy from thinking ill of his longtime boyfriend. “Yeah, we do.”

“You do?” Zack repeated, raising a brow when Cloud didn’t respond. “Since when? I thought you guys were solid.”

“A while now.” Months and months. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“What’re you fighting about?”

“That’s the thing,” Cloud responded, just as bewildered. “ _Nothing._ We’re literally at each other’s throats over the stupidest shit. I don’t even know how it started this time.”

Zack grunted beside him, apparently still too stunned to say much just yet. Then he nudged Cloud, a reassuring smile already taking over his features. “The good thing about fighting over nothing is, makin’ up's pretty easy.”

“Yeah. Too easy.”

“Now you’re kinda confusing me. Do you not _want_ to make up with him?”

“It’s not that, it’s just…” He sighed again, raking a hand through his hair before letting his head drop against the back of the couch. A stifled laugh escaped his lips as he eyed the ceiling, noting a plaster covered hole that he remembered all too well. He pointed up, sure Zack would follow the movement with his eyes. “That was the kind of fight worth having.”

Zack snorted. “What, when you knocked a hole in my ceiling? Damn right it was worth having.”

“Uh, it was _your_ fault! You’re the one who said we didn’t have to go to the training room.”

“And you’re the one who jumped off my couch with a damn _sword_ in your hands.”

“You’re just mad because I won.”

“Hard to win when your weapon’s stuck in the ceiling. It’s not like I’d swing at you when you’re unarmed.”

The two friends locked eyes, glaring for just a moment longer until they both burst into laughter at the absurdity of it all.

“See what I mean? It was memorable. There was a reason for it, even if it was stupid. There was a point.”

“Literally,” Zack teased, laughing at his own joke while Cloud rolled his eyes and pretended not to be equally amused. “C’mon, Spike. You musta been bickering over something. You wouldn’t come here like this otherwise.”

As much as he racked his brain, he couldn’t come up with much, shaking his head solemnly. “I mean, I remember being late to dinner, but one of us is _always_ late. That’s just SOLDIER.”

“I dunno. I still get annoyed with it sometimes when one of the guys keeps running late. It’s hard enough finding time together, you know?”

“Yeah, but it’s different.”

“Why?” Zack pressed, shrugging like he didn’t see how. “’Cause I have three boyfriends?”

“Well, yeah. It’s harder for you to get that one on one time, right?”

“No offense, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. Yeah, it’s hard, but it’s not automatically harder than what you’re goin’ through just ‘cause there’s more of us.”

Cloud shrank back a bit, kicking himself for doing it _again._ It was an old habit—assuming things about Zack’s relationship just because it was ‘obvious’ or the ‘semantics’ made it a certain way. When he’d first learned Zack’s three friends were actually his boyfriends, Cloud had made more assumptions than he could count. Thankfully the four were always gracious about it, explaining the realities when it wasn’t too personal.

These days he was a lot better about it all. After knowing them, he knew their relationship was the same as his own in most ways—that most the differences weren’t related to their numbers, rather their personalities.

Occasionally though, something stupid slipped out of his mouth. “I’m sorry,”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. You’re havin’ a rough night.”

“He didn’t even say anything when I walked in. It was just the _look_ on his face,” Cloud continued after a minute. “Like he was annoyed, but not telling me.”

“So you called him out on it.”

“Yeah,” he confirmed easily. “It’s just frustrating. If something’s wrong, _say_ it.”

“And then he did?” Zack guessed, raising a brow when Cloud nodded. “Then what?”

“He called me out for my bullshit. The funny thing is, he was _right_ about half of it. I just didn’t care.”

“Are you okay?”

He studied his friend for a moment, knowing exactly what was being asked of him. It wasn't a simple 'are you okay' in the moment—it was broader than that. They both knew it took a lot to push Cloud to lose his temper like that, and it'd been happening far too often lately.

“Not really,” Cloud admitted quietly. “I don’t think we’re gonna make it.”

“It’s not like it’s too late. All you gotta do is go apologize if you think you overreacted.”

“I definitely overreacted, but it’s like…you know when something starts happening all the time? I’m sick of it.”

“You know what you need?” Zack said, hopping to his feet and crossing the room as he spoke. “Fun. You need some _fun,_ Spike!”

Cloud quirked a brow as his friend turned on their favorite console, tossing a controller from across the room. No doubt it hadn’t been used since his last visit, when they played together. A familiar jingle hit his ears a moment later, solidifying his guess.

“How’s this gonna help?” he wondered, chuckling softly when Zack shot him an incredulous look. “You were the one who taught me never to avoid my problems. Isn’t this—”

“Uh, _no._ This is a solution!” Zack insisted, adamant. “Sometimes you gotta remember the basics.”

“I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t beat you every time if I didn’t remember the basics.”

“Hey! I beat you at least half the time!”

Cloud snorted. “Right, half,” he said, an indulgent smile on his face. They both knew damn well Cloud won at _least_ three-quarters of the time. “I still don’t see how this—”

“The basics, Spike! You always told me half the reason you and Lux got together was ‘cause you always had fun. So let’s have some fun!”

“Uh—”

“Don’t gimme that face. You look like you don’t remember what fun even feels like right now, so c’mon. Let’s do this,” Zack goaded, game face on as he took his seat and pressed the _start_ button on his controller. He’d already made his character selection before Cloud had a chance to protest, winking when Cloud grumbled out a halfhearted complaint. “You better get serious if you wanna win. I’m not goin’ easy just ‘cause you’re in a bad mood.”

“You better not,” Cloud responded, brows furrowed. “I want to beat you at your best.”

By the end of the night, he'd obviously won well over 50% of their rounds.

\-----

There were only so many times Cloud could poke irritably at his pasta before Sephiroth raised an expectant brow, already aware of his foul mood. It was their standing hangout night—despite their busy schedules, Cloud would _always_ spend Thursday nights with Sephiroth and his boyfriends, depending on who was available that week. They’d usually see each other more often, but somehow it had just become a staple in their friendship. A ‘just in case’ day set aside, falling on Cloud’s only consistent day off most weeks.

In this case, it was just him and Sephiroth, which was hardly a problem in Cloud’s eyes. It was probably _better_ the others were away on missions this time. Sephiroth and Cloud had an unspoken understanding—neither would press the other even when they could tell something was going on. Instead they’d support one another in their own way, often feeling better just by having some company.

Unless it was serious. Someone would always break the silence and make the inquiry if the bad mood persisted when they were together, and it seemed to be getting to that point of the night already.

“There was this carnival,” Cloud explained with a shrug, beating Sephiroth to the question. “I went this afternoon.”

“It failed to meet your expectations,” Sephiroth noted.

“The carnival was fine. It was more the company that didn’t meet my expectations.”

To his credit, Sephiroth actually looked surprised to hear as much. “Luxiere?”

“Yeah. He and I…we’ve been having some problems.”

“Zack mentioned your recent troubles.”

“Figures,” Cloud sighed, unnecessarily annoyed.

It wasn’t like he’d sworn Zack to silence. Gaia, he knew there were no secrets in his friends’ relationship—telling one of the four was as good as telling the whole group. He just wasn’t used to any of this. Normally they were confiding in _him,_ eager to hear the perspective of someone outside their relationship. Someone in a solid, long-term relationship of his own. His perspective wasn’t always relevant, but they never made him feel any less important.

“The carnival was your attempt at fun,” Sephiroth concluded, quite accurately. “What went wrong?”

“Well, it was overpriced, the cotton candy was too sweet, the rides were too slow,” he rattled off, barely grazing the surface of a long list of complaints. “Oh, and the prize games were rigged!”

“That has never bothered you in the past.”

“Didn’t bother me today either. I’ve gone to dozens of carnivals with him over the years. They’re practically our _thing,”_ Cloud vented, confused and undeniably upset. “Suddenly everything about it was all wrong to him. It was like he just didn’t want to be there, so he started coming up with all these excuses.”

“His observations are accurate.”

“Yeah, but that’s not the point. You don’t go to a carnival expecting to spend nothing and eat the best food. You go to have _fun,_ and I thought that was what we needed,” he explained with a deep sigh. “I really tried, too. I didn’t snap back when he started complaining, I just kept trying…”

Sephiroth studied him carefully for a long moment. “Perhaps you’ve chosen the wrong strategy.”

“I don’t know what else to do,” Cloud admitted quietly. “It wasn’t just the carnival. I tried to bring back a lot of things we used to do. He won’t game with me—he won’t do VR snowboarding or any of the stuff we used to love doing together. It’s like he’s just not into it anymore.”

“Have you discussed this concern with him?” Sephiroth wondered.

“Kinda,” he muttered, hand on the back of his neck. “Mostly we just end up fighting, _again._ Not today though! I told him we could do whatever he wanted instead, and all he wanted to do was go home.”

“Alone?”

“Well, no, but by the time we got there, I was ready to come here,” he explained.

“I would have understood if you cancelled,” Sephiroth told him plainly. “Or if you prefer to leave early this evening.”

“We’ve been spending Thursdays together for three years now. He _knows_ that. I’m fine putting in the effort to fix things, but I’ve gotta draw the line somewhere.” Plus, it wasn’t like Luxiere asked him to stay. He barely reacted at all when Cloud announced he was off to see Sephiroth, giving Cloud a quick kiss and muttering the same goodbye he always did like nothing was wrong at all. “I just don’t get it. Half the reason we got together in the first place was because we had such a good time goofing around together.”

“How long has it been now?”

Cloud thought back, a wave of nostalgia washing over him as he considered it. “Five years. We go way back though, further than that. He was my first friend when I enlisted.”

“You were a teenager five years ago,” Sephiroth reminded him. “It is natural for your interests to change as you become an adult.”

“We grew up _together_ though.”

“Perhaps. You also both became SOLDIERs in that time. Your missions are separate, as are you comrades.”

“The same could be said about you and the others,” Cloud reminded his friend pointedly.

“We were already adults when we entered our relationship. There was little that could happen in the field to influence who we were at that point.”

Cloud readied a quick response, but changed his mind as it hit him there might be _something_ to what Sephiroth was saying. In Cloud’s early days as a SOLDIER, he met Zack—he met Zack’s boyfriends, and they became the group of people he liked best of all the others he’d known outside of Luxiere. Sure, Luxiere knew them as well, but Luxiere had his _own_ friends—men and women he’d met on his own missions, or while he was out in the city.

People with varying interests, who’d sparked similar ones inside of Luxiere the same way Cloud’s friends had done with him. Not to say neither had their own individual thoughts and interests, but it wasn’t worth denying the fact that the people one chose to surround themselves with could be influential. Otherwise they’d have found other people to associate with in the first place. It wasn’t like the options were limited around ShinRa tower or out in Midgar itself.

“I love him,” Cloud said, convinced of that much despite his jumbled thoughts. “I want it to work.”

“Then perhaps attempting to go back to how things were is not the appropriate course of action.”

“What is then?”

“Have you considered his current interests?” Sephiroth asked, like it was simple.

“Uh…Well, yeah. I know what he likes.”

“I suggest planning your next outing around those interests.”

He shifted in his seat, not quite sure how he felt about that. “Lux likes _dancing._ He’s into the club scene, and that’s…” _Not my thing,_ Cloud finished in his head, sure Sephiroth heard the message loud and clear. “I guess it wouldn’t kill me to go with him once in a while.”

“You may be surprised with what happens if you allow him to push your comfort zone from time to time,” Sephiroth said, a tiny smile pulling at the side of his mouth. “I am continually impressed by the outings Zack selects for our date nights.”

Cloud snorted. “I bet. Did you really end up liking that Gongagan festival he dragged you to last week?”

“It was the best date I’ve had all year,” Sephiroth confirmed. “You would have enjoyed it as well.”

“Maybe next year,” he replied, laughing at the thought. It didn’t sound so bad, actually. It was like a big party, with music, food, and dancing—all themed, and with the appropriate outfits to match. Zack had been dying to go, and Sephiroth had apparently been his first choice to bring along when it became clear they wouldn’t all be able to clear their schedules. “I’m telling Gen you said that, by the way. He’ll have to step up his game if Zack brought you on your favorite date.”

“He is already planning our next excursion.”

“Oh, Gaia. You’re in for a real treat then,” Cloud assumed, stifling another laugh. It was cute, really—the way his friends ‘competed’ to show each other the best time without truly ever being in contest with one another. None of them seriously wanted to ‘best’ the others, but that didn’t stop them from joking about it occasionally. “Sometimes I wish Lux would be like that.”

“Like Genesis?” Sephiroth asked curiously.

“Not specifically. I meant like _any_ of you. Like today, I went through all this trouble…It’s okay that he didn’t like it, you know? I wish he’d said so from the start, but it’s fine. I just want him to put in the same effort like he used to.”

“A relationship should never be one sided.”

“Maybe you’re right about all this. I need to figure out something he’ll like for sure,” Cloud decided slowly. “If I can just show him there’s still something here…”

“I did not mean to imply his affection is contingent upon you pleasing him, Cloud. That would be—”

“Unhealthy, I know,” he finished, frowning. “I’m just not used to all this. I always thought we had a perfect relationship.”

“As did I,” Sephiroth admitted, bringing Cloud’s gaze back up. “This is the first time I’ve heard you say anything negative about your relationship.”

“I don’t like to broadcast our problems. It’s not like you tell me every time Angeal hides your candy jar.”

Sephiroth’s eyes flashed in recognition. “It _is_ Angeal, then?”

“Uh. No comment,” Cloud decided, sure his smirk said enough. Maybe his friends _didn’t_ tell each other every single thing after all. Angeal should’ve known better than to get between Sephiroth and his sweet tooth, though. “The point I’m getting at is, when I’m with you guys, I don’t necessarily wanna waste time thinking about if Lux and I were arguing that morning.”

“So long as you know we are willing to listen, I understand.”

“I know that,” he promised. “I’ve _always_ known that.”

“Good. Do you wish to speak on this more?”

They both already knew the answer to that, but Cloud shook his head anyway. The truth was, he already felt much better about the whole situation. Sure, he needed to plan out his next date, but that could wait. All he wanted to do for the rest of this particular night was relax with his friend.

“I’m kinda full,” Cloud decided, looking down at his now-cold plate of pasta. Normally he would’ve polished the whole thing off, but half felt like an accomplishment right now. “Do you want to watch a movie or something when you’re done?”

“I am done as well,” Sephiroth responded, rising gracefully and taking both of their plates to the kitchen.

Cloud followed him habitually, helping clean up as he processed everything they’d just discussed. By the time he was drying the dishes Sephiroth had washed, he was confident he had a solid plan for what to do with Luxiere. The only concern he had was that he’d been just as confident _today,_ and it hadn’t exactly gone the way he wanted.

By the time he was sitting on the couch, he did his best to push it all aside, finally able to relax when Sephiroth took a seat by his side. He leaned against his friend the way he always did when they watched movies together—neither stiff, neither bored. If he ended up waking up a few hours later still curled up against his friend? Well, that was a good thing, too. It was the best sleep he’d had in days.

\-----

From carnivals to clubs, Cloud had gone through both Zack and Sephiroth’s suggestions thoroughly. He’d mixed in some other dates, ranging from game nights to parties. A balance of ‘fun’ and ‘new’, which was essentially a mix of ups and downs in Luxiere’s eyes. Just downs from Cloud’s perspective, which lead him to yet another breaking point.

“It’s not that he didn’t like the clubs and all that. It was just me,” Cloud explained, helpless about how to proceed now. “I can’t dance for shit unless it’s something traditional and Nibel, so it’s just awkward every time.”

“But he enjoys the outings?” Genesis pressed, raising a brow when Cloud nodded. “Is he aware you weren’t enjoying yourself?”

“Well, it’s kind of hard to tell him that when he can barely hear me over the music.”

“That seems like a poor excuse. Your body language speaks volumes alone.”

Not everyone was as perceptive as Genesis, but Cloud didn’t bother saying that. Instead he just smiled a bit, inwardly appreciating how well his friend knew him. It had been a couple weeks since he’d talked about this with any of them, determined to work it out alone since he had what seemed like a solid plan. They had enough on their plates without any added drama, and Cloud much preferred enjoying his time with them to the fullest rather than dealing with outside problems. Except this particular problem was persistent.

“It’s like every time we do something, only one of us likes it,” Cloud admitted. “I try when I’m doing one of his things, but…It’s not working. It’s not helping the way I thought it would.”

“Of course it’s not. Your relationship has reached a breaking point, dearest. What you need to do is reignite your bond.”

“Reignite it how?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Genesis responded, hands on his hips. His stare sharped when Cloud shook his head blankly, letting out a dramatic sigh. “Romance. You need to _romance_ Luxiere! Show him how badly you want him still—make it clear you care without resorting to words.”

“Gen…I’m about as good at romance as I am with words,” Cloud told him bluntly.

“Get dressed. We’re going out.”

He looked down at himself, fairly sure he _was_ dressed already. “Uh—”

“No jeans, no t-shirts. I’m going to take you on a date this evening, and I need you to look the part.”

“Gen, what—”

The look the redhead gave him cut off his question, and he quietly resigned himself to the fact that, yes, this was really happening and he had no say in the matter. Before he could make it to the door though, he was being redirected, guiding hands on his back leading him right into the bedroom Genesis shared with Sephiroth.

SOLDIER apartments were a decent size, but not quite large enough for four grown men to share. Instead they’d ended up living in two’s, Zack sharing with Angeal while Genesis shared with Sephiroth. It was all just a technicality as far as Cloud was concerned. The apartments were just across the hall from each other, making it so they were in and out of both as if it were truly a shared space. Obviously they all had keys to both apartments, and more often than not, whoever was in town stayed together despite who ShinRa had registered to each room.

Maybe that’s why it wasn’t a total surprise when Genesis pulled out a button up shirt that clearly belonged to Zack, handing it to Cloud expectantly. “This is gonna be huge on me. One of yours would fit better.”

Genesis eyed him appraisingly before conceding a nod. “I suppose you’re right. If you spill a single drop—”

“That was one time!” Cloud exclaimed, face red at the memory. Gaia, would anyone _ever_ let him live that down? One spilled glass of wine and he was branded for life. “I don’t make a regular habit of being messy when I eat or drink.”

“You’ve been warned,” Genesis said shortly, handing over a different shirt this time—a deep red button up, much softer than the first. “Tuck it in.”

Cloud rolled his eyes, but removed his shirt unabashedly. He pulled the shirt on as Genesis continued to rifle through his closet, buttoning it up as he watched with interest. Borrowing a shirt was one thing, but _pants?_ It wasn’t like they’d look very nice rolled up, and clearly Genesis had a certain image in his head already for this charade.

What he wasn’t prepared for, was Genesis pulling out a very familiar pair of pants. Black dress slacks that Cloud hadn’t seen in _months._ “Those are mine,” he noted, raising a curious brow.

“Yes. You left them here after one of ShinRa’s press conferences.”

He racked his brain, vaguely remembering what Genesis was talking about. It felt like ShinRa had some SOLDIER-related press conference every week, and Cloud was ordered to attend from time to time. They essentially pulled a set number of members to fill the room, depending on who was in town. Angeal had gone along with him, from what he could recall—then they’d swung back to the apartment for dinner and some homemade dessert.

“I borrowed some pajamas,” Cloud remembered finally, smiling a bit. Sometimes all he wanted to do after eating Angeal’s cake was crash out, and that had _definitely_ been one of those nights. Genesis had been out on some date with Zack while Sephiroth was away on a mission, so Angeal hadn’t minded the company one bit. He’d slept comfortably on the couch, too lazy to go up two floors to his own apartment. “I’d left jeans here—I wore them home the next day.”

“Yes. You have a habit of leaving clothes here,” Genesis noted, pulling out some clothes for himself as Cloud kicked off his shoes and began unbuttoning his jeans. Years of changing around fellow SOLDIERs had really done wonders for him, alleviating any embarrassment he might’ve felt about undressing in the same room as someone other than his boyfriend. Plus, it was just _Genesis._ There was very little that could happen to make him feel uncomfortable around any of his closest friends. “You should wear red more often, dear. It suits you.”

Cloud followed Genesis’ gaze, shifting where he stood as he realized the man was blatantly checking him out after he’d finished swapping pants. “It looks better on you,” he shrugged, knowing Genesis was well aware. There was a reason he wore the color so often, and it wasn’t because it was his favorite. “I might keep the shirt though. It’s pretty comfy.”

“It’s yours then,” Genesis responded smoothly, winking when Cloud opened his mouth to protest— _obviously_ he’d been kidding. “You look adorable in my things.”

“Is this sweet talk part of the romance lesson?”

“I didn’t intend to begin the lesson until I’d changed, but if you’d like to start now, that’s fine,” Genesis decided, placing the outfit he’d selected onto his bed. Then he fixed Cloud with his full attention, earning the same in return without question. “The key here is remembering this isn’t your first date with Luxiere. There are far fewer restrictions in an established relationship than there are in the early stages.”

“Okay?”

“Yes. Tonight I’ll wine and dine you properly, the way I expect you to do on your next date. I’ll shower you with small gestures and affection, and then take you home just when you’re wanting more.”

“Is there gonna be a goodnight kiss?” he joked, the smile falling from his face when Genesis huffed.

“Were you not listening? You have no reason to follow first date protocol. There’s no guessing whether or not a kiss is appropriate—you’ll just know. Though I find it never hurts to ask permission anyway.”

“Permission?” Cloud repeated skeptically.

He and Luxiere were several years beyond needing to check before making any advances, easily able to read one another’s cues and hints. Even back when they’d first started dating though, it had never been a matter of permission. They’d just look at one another and nod, silently communicating when it was fine to take the next step every time there was a step to take between them.

“Knowing when your partner is receptive to a kiss is helpful, but asking despite that is memorable under the right circumstances. I can still bring a blush to Sephiroth’s cheeks if I time it properly.”

It was hard for Cloud to imagine, but he didn’t doubt it for a second nonetheless. “I don’t think that’s really _me_ _._ Or Lux.”

Genesis made no secret of the way he rolled his eyes, _tsking_ like he was disappointed. “That’s why I’m here, dear. Allow me to demonstrate.”

“Okay, but—”

His eyes went wide as Genesis took a step closer than usual, staring down at him with a look Cloud had _never_ seen up close. It was the look Genesis wore when he was with his boyfriends, confident and fond as his eyes took the time to admire all of Cloud’s features.

“You truly are a lovely young man, Cloud,” Genesis whispered, trailing a gentle hand over Cloud’s cheek.

He could feel the color blossoming under his friend’s touch, unsure where this was going, yet excited to find out. When the redhead’s hand lingered as he leaned down closer, it became more and more clear. There was no imagining the way Genesis’ eyes flickered down to his lips before they met Cloud’s once more, a silent question lingering in the air. His hands were on Genesis’ hips before he realized what he was doing, head tilted up just enough to say he was okay with whatever this lesson entailed.

Genesis didn’t kiss him, of course. Instead he took one more step, allowing Cloud to get caught up in the warmth of his body being so close and the tickle of his breath grazing Cloud’s face. His heart jumped as his friend finally leaned down, lips dangerously close to his own as Genesis finally asked, “May I kiss you, Cloud?”

“Yes,” he breathed, far more ragged than usual.

The disappointment was instantaneous when Genesis veered at the last second, lips grazing the blond’s cheek like it had been his goal all along. “Now do you understand?” Genesis muttered, retracting his hand and taking all his warmth with him as he stepped back. “You would’ve indulged me long before I'd asked, yet if I’d stepped back before that point, it would’ve been of no consequence to you.”

His brows were furrowed as the lesson sunk in, sure that Genesis was absolutely right. That certainty was enough to cause guilt to pool into his stomach though, realizing the lesson might've sunk in a bit too well. He still couldn't shake the feeling he'd missed out on something he never should've wanted in the first place, which was clearly a testament to the fact Genesis knew this subject as well as he liked to boast.

“Did you…?” Cloud shook the question from his mind, running his own hand over his cheek where Genesis had given him that light kiss. “Never mind.”

“We’re well past the bashful stage of this friendship, dear,” Genesis reminded him. “Ask your question.”

“You really think I’m lovely?”

A light laugh escaped the redhead’s lips, like that hadn’t been the question he expected. “I never say anything I don’t firmly believe. You know that.”

Cloud didn’t try to fight the smile that followed, not quite sure why it made him feel _relieved_ to hear that of all things. So what if Genesis thought he was lovely? Lots of people found him attractive, and he wasn’t so oblivious to that fact these days. It just so happened he’d never cared about anyone’s opinion other than Luxiere’s when it came those things. Not until right now.

“I’d best go change. Clearly this romance lesson’s going to take longer than anticipated.”

“Right, sure.”

Genesis retrieved his clothes with haste, winking as he strolled into the connected bathroom to get ready. If Cloud went right to the kitchen to splash some water on his face, no one else needed to know.

\-----

_Why are we doing this, Cloud?_

The question was still echoing around his mind, embarrassment flooding him as he replayed it all in his head. It had been a perfect night. They’d gone to the far outskirts of the city—a place where they could see the real night sky. He’d wined and dined his boyfriend, dressed his absolute best, bringing up more than a few fond memories as they ate. Then they’d gone for a walk outside, hand in hand despite the rising tension between them.

It was too cold. Too windy. Too pointless, apparently. Every step came with another criticism until Cloud had lost sight of why they were out there to begin with. Maybe he really _was_ a failure at all things romance.

He didn’t even try to convince Luxiere to come back to his place where he had another bottle of wine waiting for the two of them—complete with candles and flowers just as Genesis had suggested. The key to finding the missing element needed to reignite their relationship in a way they’d never experienced.

Passion. That was what romance was really about. It wasn’t gifts or expected behaviors. It was finding a way to convey the depth of how much he cared without falling back on simple words. Without saying _I love you_ and hoping that was enough.

It was also kind of addictive. After Genesis’ little lesson, it was all Cloud could think about—putting his new ‘knowledge’ to work. He’d meant it when he said it wasn’t really something he or Luxiere had ever cared about, but the taste he’d been given was enough for him to know that was something he wanted to change.

Except Luxiere hadn’t been on board with that idea, clearly.

“Cloud,” Angeal said, brows furrowed as he opened the door to his shared apartment. His eyes trailed over the blond, not missing the untucked shirt or rumpled look Cloud was now sporting. After bringing Luxiere home, he’d all but come undone, at a complete loss. All he knew for sure was that he couldn’t walk into his place alone. Not when he knew what was inside. “Come in.”

There was an awkward silence as Cloud trailed in after him, only broken when Angeal offered a kind smile. “I’m glad you stopped by. I was just thinking I could use some company.”

“Is it just you tonight?” Cloud asked, looking around curiously.

“Yes. Gen took Zack out, and Sephiroth is on a mission,” Angeal explained, gesturing for Cloud to follow him into the kitchen. “I was actually about to make a cake, if you’d like to join to me.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“It’s an apology cake. Sephiroth found the hiding spot,” he explained with a grim smile. The elusive candy jar hiding spot, Cloud assumed, chuckling for the first time all evening. “I know you’re the one who told him I was hiding it.”

“I didn’t know it was a secret,” Cloud insisted, only mildly defensive about it. “You guys tell each other everything!”

“Seph’s so used to winning battles that he doesn’t realize his teeth aren’t indestructible. He’s had three fillings this year alone,” Angeal revealed with a sigh. “I was trying to help.”

“He knows that. I’m sure he appreciates it in his own way.” Cloud opened one of the cabinets, snatching a couple mixing bowls. They’d done this before, more often than he could count. “I guess helping out is the least I can do after spilling your little secret. Is he coming back tonight?”

“Tomorrow,” Angeal responded, already grabbing out a few other ingredients—sugar, salt, eggs. Cloud knew them all at this point, though he wasn’t quite sure which cake they were making yet. “I’m sure he won’t mind if we eat some tonight though.”

“Because you feel sorry for me,” Cloud concluded, side eyeing his friend. “You don’t have to. I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine, Cloud.”

“I just didn’t want to go home. My plans kinda fell through.”

“The date didn’t go well?” Angeal inquired, his tone light and pressure free.

“No, and I don’t really want to talk about it if that’s okay,” he said, tip toeing up for the flour.

He muttered a curse as it slipped from his distracted fingers, suddenly very grateful for Angeal’s quick reflexes. For such a large man, he was _fast,_ steady hands on Cloud’s waist keeping him balanced as the flour hit the tile with a loud thud. To his surprise, the plastic container Angeal kept it in remained in tact, its lid preventing the massive mess Cloud had expected.

“Wow. Best birthday gift ever,” Cloud muttered, remembering how he’d helped Sephiroth pick out that container—it was one of a set used mostly for Angeal’s baking supplies.

“It’s a nice set,” Angeal agreed, still steadying Cloud even as the blond’s heels dropped back to the tile. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. No harm done.”

“So what kind of cake are we making?” he asked, vaguely aware Angeal hadn’t budged despite loosening his grip.

Probably resisting the urge to pull Cloud in for a hug, if Cloud knew him as well as he liked to think. Angeal hugs were the best, and undoubtedly he could use one after the night he’d had—there was just this stubborn part of him that didn’t want to turn around and let it happen just yet. That would mean thinking more about how horribly the night had gone, and he just wasn’t ready to do that.

There was a short pause before Angeal answered, “Carrot cake.”

 _Nice._ Carrot wasn’t Sephiroth’s usual preference, but Cloud wasn’t going to argue. Not when Angeal’s carrot cake happened to be his favorite. He smiled up at his friend, stepping away to go grab some carrots from the refrigerator while Angeal grabbed out the secret ingredient—a can of pineapple.

“Are you going to show me your other secret this time?” Cloud joked, eyes wide when Angeal nodded. “Uh, I know I had a shitty night, but you don’t really have to—”

“I want to. One of these days someone’s going to owe me an apology cake, and it won’t do me any good if no one knows how to make it properly,” Angeal insisted.

Cloud suppressed a laugh, thinking that was kind of a bad excuse. The man was far too kind to expect anyone to make him an apology cake, not to mention the fact he’d be equally content with something from a box if it came from the right person. Something on Angeal’s face told Cloud to just accept this was happening though, so he didn’t bother protesting again.

Instead he watched eagerly, helping to whisk whenever the opportunity presented itself. By the time Angeal was pouring the batter into the cake pan, Cloud was already fetching out the ingredients for the cream cheese frosting.

“It should come out nicely,” Angeal said, proud as ever as they began to clean up the mess they’d created. “We’ll have to let it cool before we can frost it.”

“You say it like I don’t know that,” Cloud replied, putting on his best innocent face. Angeal saw right through it, rolling his eyes and undoubtedly remembering the time Cloud had cut right into one of their cakes and eaten a piece right away. Who needed frosting anyway? Sure, it was delicious, but Angeal’s cakes were pretty awesome either way. “I can’t believe it was just nutmeg.”

“It makes a big difference.”

Apparently. Cloud had tried making a carrot cake alone once, and it wasn’t quite right without that other ‘secret ingredient’. “Did Seph really ask for carrot cake?”

“No,” Angeal admitted, confirming Cloud’s nagging suspicion. “He didn’t request anything. I was planning to make him something, but I hadn’t decided until you got here.”

“Because it’s my favorite. Not his.”

“Yes.”

Cloud scoffed, but couldn’t help appreciating Angeal’s easy honesty. It was hard to look at it as deceptive or sneaky when it was so obvious and Angeal was so earnest about it. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Angeal responded, and that was _it._

The moment Cloud found himself in Angeal’s arms, slumping against his chest as he all but clung to the larger man. It wasn’t even necessary—the way Angeal hugged him was so completely encompassing that they would’ve been fully bound to one another even if his arms had stayed right at his sides.

Still, he wanted to hold onto this. The dishes were done and the timer was ticking, and all he wanted was to feel exactly like this while they waited. Safe and certain even when so many things felt out of control in his life right now.

“I’ve tried everything, Ang,” he muttered into his friend’s chest, knowing Angeal could still hear every word. “Everything.”

“Have you talked to him?”

“We talk every day.”

“Have you talked about _this?”_ Angeal clarified, causing Cloud to tense where he stood. Maybe they hadn’t talked explicitly about their ongoing problems, but it was out there in the open. The tension was in the air, and Cloud’s efforts were on the table. “You need to bring it up, Cloud.”

“But Zack and—”

“I’m not saying Zack was wrong. Genesis and Sephiroth made good suggestions, too,” Angeal assured him. “The problem is, without proper communication, there’s no relationship left to save.”

“So that’s your big advice then? Talk to him?”

“You may be surprised how much it helps. I’m sure you’re not the only one who’s noticed things aren’t the same as they used to be—it could be Luxiere hasn’t figured out how to bring it up himself yet.”

“I guess that might be why he keeps getting so annoyed every time I bring him out.”

“It might be. You won’t know until you ask.”

“I just thought if we could get back to how things were, none of it would matter," Cloud explained. "These last couple months…”

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” Angeal wondered, the question almost hopeful. “All this time, we would’ve been there to support you. You didn’t need to struggle on your own.”

“I wanted to get away from it all. When I’m with you guys, it’s easy to forget for a little while—to just be normal.”

“Is this not normal?”

Cloud stiffened a bit in Angeal’s arms. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not as if we’ve never hugged before, and I seem to remember talking to you the last time Genesis and I got into an argument,” Angeal said slowly. “Talking to you about that felt normal to me.”

“I like that you talk to me when you need someone. Normal was the wrong word,” Cloud decided. “I just meant I prefer when I’m not the one unloading my shit on you guys.”

“Except then it piles up until we hit this point,” his friend noted, pulling back just enough to glance down and hold Cloud’s gaze. “I don’t like seeing you look so troubled, Cloud. I want you to be happy.”

“I _am_ happy when I’m with you.”

“But not when you’re with Luxiere, and he’s an important person in your life.”

“Ang…I think the conversation I’m going to have with him isn’t going to be one to work things out.”

“What do you mean?”

Cloud resisted the urge to hide in Angeal’s chest again, forcing himself to hold that powerful gaze. “I’m not the only one who could’ve said something. I’m not the only one who could’ve put in some effort. I’m done, Ang, and I’m pretty sure he’s not even going to try to convince me otherwise.”

“You might find it harder to walk away when you’re face to face. You’ve been together a long time.”

“Yeah, which is just another reason we shouldn’t be acting like this around each other. We’ve never held back the way we have these last few months.”

“Don’t go in there with your mind made up already. You should hear him out and let him explain, if he wants to. If you’re right and he doesn’t, _then_ you should make whatever choice is best for you.”

He frowned, wondering why this was so damn important to Angeal. The firmness in his tone was impossible to argue with though, and Cloud found himself conceding a nod. Maybe it was just the weight of the night dragging his mood down. After five years, surely he could talk to Luxiere about their relationship with an open mind—at least one more time.

“I’ll make him a cake,” Cloud said, smirking a bit when Angeal chuckled. “That’ll lighten him up enough to have a real conversation.”

“He’ll never let you go now that you know the secret ingredient.”

“I guess we’ll see,” he muttered, resting back against Angeal’s chest. His friend took the hint, holding him just as tightly as before. “Thanks, Ang.”

Angeal just hummed thoughtfully in response, not bothering to let go until the cake timer went off and forced them apart. By the time it was cool enough to be frosted, Cloud had polished off two pieces.

\-----

There was no simple explanation for why Luxiere had been acting so distant. No personal issue to account for their odd dynamic in the last few months. Cloud had made that cake, earning the first real smile he’d seen on his boyfriend’s face in as long as he could remember as he served them and confessed what they both knew to be true—that something had changed between them, and it stemmed a lot further back than either realized.

“I just think we’ve grown apart,” Luxiere said, and for the first time, Cloud could see it was eating at him just as badly. “I love you, but…”

“This isn’t working anymore,” Cloud finished.

“No, it’s not.”

They’d finished the cake in silence, an odd understanding settling in place between them. It wasn’t a hostile breakup or even a sad one—it was just heavy. There was a sinking feeling in the pit of Cloud’s stomach as they kept eating, and he found himself slowing down for once, a second slice the last thing on his mind.

By the time they were both done, Luxiere took the opportunity to apologize for being so dismissive of all Cloud’s efforts. Efforts he had seen and noticed, but couldn’t appreciate. “It was sweet of you to try fixing this, but—”

“I know. There’s nothing here to fix.”

A few more confessions later—mostly relating to how this was why Luxiere never moved in with Cloud, and how it was also why he stopped going on double dates with Cloud’s friends—everything made a lot more sense in Cloud’s head. It wasn’t _him._ Neither did anything wrong, and neither were to blame. Sometimes things just didn’t work out, and that was okay.

“I guess I’ll see you around,” Cloud said, feeling awkward for the first time since he’d arrived at Luxiere’s door with a cake in hand.

“Yeah. I hope so.”

He trusted his instincts, giving this man he knew intimately well a simple kiss on the cheek before headed out of the apartment. When the door shut behind him, he felt oddly liberated.

Maybe it just hadn’t sunk in yet. Five years. That was a long time to share with one person, and they’d shared so much. Their hopes and dreams. Their plans for the future, which had always included each other. Now that their relationship was over, where did that leave him?

The thought wasn’t as scary as it should’ve been, and when Cloud found himself standing between his friends’ two apartments, he knew why. It wasn’t like he was alone. Sure, he had no boyfriend, but that didn’t mean he had to go through life without any help. He found himself knocking on Genesis and Sephiroth’s door, vaguely aware of the fact all four of his friends were supposed to be in town for the next few days. More often than not, that meant they were spending time as a group—time that they didn’t get as often as they liked thanks to their hectic work schedules.

Normally Cloud never would’ve interrupted their time as a group, but when the door swung open and Zack smiled down at him, he knew it was okay. “Hey, Spike. Come on in.”

It wasn’t really a choice, Zack slinging an arm around Cloud and guiding them right into the living room. Sure enough, Genesis, Angeal, and Sephiroth were all there, each looking at Cloud in a different way. Expectant, concerned, and curious. Zack cut right through all of that, plopping down in a recliner and pulling Cloud right onto his lap like it wasn’t a big thing.

And really, it wasn’t. Ever since the day Cloud had met Zack, he knew the man was a bit more affectionate than most. That continued into their friendship, and spread among his boyfriends as they got to know Cloud better.

“You seem happy,” Sephiroth noted.

“It went well then?” Genesis concluded, raising both brows when Cloud shrugged. “You truly intend to keep us out of the loop?”

“It went well,” Cloud confirmed with a smile. “Really well.”

No one said anything in response, much to his surprise. Instead Zack just shifted where he sat, adjusting Cloud in his lap so that he could look up and see his face as well. He reached up without reserve, brushing a messy blond strand of hair from Cloud’s eyes before finally breaking the silence, “That’s great, Spike.”

“I’m glad you were able to work things out,” Angeal agreed easily.

“Me too. I always thought breaking up would be a lot harder, you know? But I feel really good about how it all played out.”

There was a collective sense of confusion that Cloud was sure he wasn’t imagining, his friends exchanging concerned looks before all eyes were back on him.

“You broke up?” Genesis asked first, raising a brow when Cloud nodded. “And you’re pleased with the outcome?”

“Yeah. I think it was a long time coming,” he admitted quietly. “Being together was just normal, so it was easy to pretend nothing was wrong even when it’d been off for a long time.”

“How does Luxiere feel about all this?” Sephiroth inquired.

Another shrug. “Good. I think he was relieved, to be honest. He wasn’t trying to be an ass all these weeks, he just didn’t know how to tell me there was no fixing us.”

“You’re not worried this’ll all hit you tomorrow?” Zack wondered.

“Nah. I mean, it just happened, so maybe it hasn’t sunk in all the way, but…I’ll be fine. I already feel like there’s a massive weight off my shoulders.”

“Let me get this straight,” Genesis started, pulling his hand from where it had been linked with Sephiroth’s just so he could gesture as he spoke, “You and Luxiere broke up just now, and you immediately came here with a smile on your face as if nothing happened at all?"

“Pretty much, yeah,” Cloud said, brows furrowed. “What’s the big deal? Do you want me to go or something? Because I’ll definitely go. I know you don’t get—”

“You are always welcome here, Cloud,” Sephiroth interjected, his voice firm.

“I think we’re all just trying to make sense of this,” Angeal added with a kind smile. “You’ve been upset for weeks now.”

“That’s exactly why it feels so good now. I don’t need to worry anymore. Me and Lux are on the same page—we grew apart, and that’s okay.”

“It is,” Sephiroth said with nothing but certainty.

Genesis nodded in agreement. “Anyone who doesn’t appreciate a walk under the stars isn’t good enough for you anyway, dear.”

“I think he appreciated it—it was just too little, too late.”

Zack’s fingers were doodling random patterns on his thigh, eliciting a smile as Cloud tried to figure out exactly what his friend was drawing. It was an old game they used to play, and he almost never won. There was no prompt to guess though, instead an unexpectedly serious question coming from his friend’s lips, “So what’s next then?”

“What do you mean?”

“For you. You haven’t been single in a long time, Spike.”

Cloud frowned as he considered it. “I don’t know. I wasn’t planning to break up with him,” he admitted, catching Angeal’s gaze and offering a private smile. They both knew Cloud had gone into that conversation with Luxiere with an open mind. “I’ll probably just do my normal thing. Missions and hanging out with you guys.”

“You’re not gonna go out and enjoy the single life?” Zack persisted, his fingers stilling.

“Uh, maybe. Not for a while though. I’ve never really _been_ single—not as an adult at least.” And he’d been too shy for his own good before Luxiere came along. “It’s not like I have to decide everything right now.”

“You should take it one day at a time,” Sephiroth suggested.

“There’s no need to rush,” Angeal agreed, brows furrowed with concern. “This could all still hit you tomorrow.”

“I guess,” he shrugged, somehow doubting it would. “Can we talk about something else? Maybe it’ll hit tomorrow, but right now I’m good. I promise.”

“You’ll tell us if that changes?” Genesis asked, the question more of an expectation.

Cloud nodded. “Yeah.”

“Gen was just telling us about his most recent mission,” Angeal revealed, nudging the redhead with a fond smile. “He burned down another tree.”

“Gen!” Cloud exclaimed, eyeing the man in disbelief. “You realize half of Gaia already thinks ShinRa’s bad for the environment, right?”

“You say it as if it were intentional!” Genesis huffed. “I merely underestimated my opponent’s speed. Needless to say, I didn’t make that mistake twice.”

“And the tree?”

“It’s not as if I had the luxury of stopping in the midst of combat to focus on putting the fire out. I was fighting a fully grown Malboro. One misstep, and I would’ve faced the full brunt of its breath.”

Cloud’s eyes went wide at that. Sure, he’d heard of the creatures, but he’d never seen one up close. Their breath was said to be toxic, inflicting a wide variety of status ailments that could prove fatal even to a SOLDIER. “How’d you take it down?”

“The same way I take all of my enemies down. Swiftly.”

“You threw more fire spells at it, didn’t you?” Cloud guessed, fairly certain Malboro’s were actually weakest against water. Genesis nodded anyway. “Then what happened?”

“I dealt with the tree before the flames could spread. If anything, you should all be thanking me for preventing a forest fire.”

Zack snorted. “Right. Thanks for ignorin’ Seph’s suggestion to take Leviathan on this one, Gen.”

“You know how I feel about that serpent,” Genesis said, incredulous. “He never comes when I call.”

“I offered to show you the trick,” Cloud reminded him, shaking his head with amusement when Genesis’ huff turned into a pout. Probably because there were very few things Genesis wasn’t the best at when it came to materia. The idea of being taught by anyone must’ve been unappealing to him, let alone the youngest and newest SOLDIER in the room. “I know you don’t like learning from Seconds, but—”

“That, my dear, has nothing to do with it. I’d be happy to learn anything you cared to show me,” Genesis said smoothly, winking when he caught Cloud’s gaze. “I’m just offended you’re taking their side.”

“I’m not! I’m on your side _and_ their side.”

“Sounds like a copout, Spike,” Zack muttered, giving him a quick squeeze.

“I don’t care. It’s true.”

The reality was, all four of these men were _always_ there for him. How could he not return the favor for every single one of them? That didn’t mean he always agreed with everything they said or did, but he could find a way to support them nonetheless.

Judging by the fond looks from around the room, the sentiment was well received.


	2. Chapter 2

Barely a week after breaking up with Luxiere, Cloud had received his first invitation out. He declined, of course, telling the person who asked he wasn’t interested in dating just yet, but that was just the start. It turned out there were more than a few people just as eager to go out with him though—some looking for an actual date, while others were more interested in hooking up. Each and every one was turned down much the same way, with Cloud growing more tired of the routine by the day.

A solid two months passed like that before Cloud heard an unexpected piece of gossip.

_“Luxiere’s dating again.”_

The news shouldn’t have affected him as much as it did, but he couldn’t help thinking it was too soon for that. How could he start dating someone two months after a five year relationship ended? They hadn’t exactly stayed in touch with one another, but surely Luxiere knew Cloud hadn’t gone out yet.

“You okay, Spike?”

He snapped out of his thoughts, looking up at Zack in surprise. “Since when do you eat in the chow hall?”

“Since I knew you’d be here,” Zack told him, placing his tray on the table before taking a seat across the table from his friend. “What’s up? You look kinda out of it.”

“Rumors. Apparently Lux started dating again.”

That sobered Zack right up. “Seriously?”

“I guess it might not be true, but…Why should I care either way?”

“You were together for a long time. Of course you care.”

“But I don’t want to be with him,” Cloud said, shaking his head slowly. “It’s not like I want him to be miserable either. I should be happy if he’s happy.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t hear it from _him._ That’s gotta sting, I mean…you guys used to tell each other everything, right?”

“Right. Now we don’t talk at all.”

“Wasn’t that your choice?” Zack wondered, raising a brow when Cloud nodded. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be friends with Luxiere, but they’d both agreed to give each other some space before trying that. “Do you miss him?”

How could he possibly answer that? Virtually every area of the tower held some memory Cloud had shared with his ex-boyfriend, including the table he was sitting at now. Most of the memories were pleasant ones, only marred by the last few months of a much longer relationship.

“I think it’s just the nostalgia,” Cloud tried to explain, his heart heavy. “It’s not like I want to be with him—I know we made the right choice when we ended it. So many things remind me of him though, and then hearing he’s moving on…Why’s it so much easier for him?”

“Who says it’s easier? A date can be just a date, Spike—doesn’t mean he’s moving on,” Zack said firmly.

“But he’s trying to.”

“And?”

“And I’m alone,” he responded with a frown.

“So it’s nothin’ to do with you missing him,” Zack realized with a grin.

“Why do you say it like it’s a good thing? I’m irrational! I’m—”

“You’re a human being who feels like he’s being left behind. It’s not irrational. The real question is, are you happy now?”

Cloud paused, the question knocking the protest right out of him. “Yeah, I am,” he said, sure of that much. “Happier than I’ve been in a while.”

“Then you’re right. Who cares if he’s movin’ on? You do you, Spike. It’s not like you’ve got no options if you wanna find someone of your own.”

“I don’t. Not really.”

“Yeah? I always thought you liked being in a relationship.”

“I did, but I don’t _have_ to be in one to be happy. It’s kind of nice knowing I can stand on my own two feet, you know?”

Zack hummed thoughtfully. “Yeah, I guess. Doesn’t hurt having someone to stand next to though.”

“Or someones,” Cloud corrected, grinning when Zack beamed at him. “I’m kinda jealous of your relationship.”

“I do have the best boyfriends around this place,” Zack responded easily.

“If there’s one thing I took away from my breakup, it’s that it takes more than that to make a relationship work. Luxiere was an awesome boyfriend, too, but that’s not always enough.”

“What makes us different then?” Zack asked curiously.

“The way you talk to each other—the way you _listen._ I’m sure it’s not always easy, but I see the way you all try so hard to make it work, and that’s…I mean, that’s everything,” Cloud explained, a fondness in his voice as he held his friend’s gaze. “If me and Lux had been like that, it wouldn’t have mattered that we grew apart. We would’ve fought to find more common ground, and we would’ve made it work.”

“Yeah, but you _did_ try, remember? We all saw it.”

“I tried when I already knew it was too late. The truth is, I think I’ve known for a long time that Lux wasn’t the one,” he admitted with a shrug. “It’s still weird to think about him being with someone else, but that’s all it is. Weird. I’d never get back with him.”

“So you think if it’d been right between you guys, you both woulda fought a lot sooner to make it work?”

“Yeah, definitely. We probably wouldn’t have fallen apart in the first place.”

“I always did think he was a weird pick for you,” Zack admitted, much to Cloud’s surprise. The older SOLDIER had never spoken an ill word about Luxiere for as long as they’d know each other. “Don’t get me wrong, I was glad you were happy with him, but I think someone like Gen’s more your type, you know?”

“Gen?” Cloud repeated incredulously.

“Uh, yeah. Handsome, smart. Quick enough with his words to keep up with you,” he explained, like it was obvious. “I know you liked his little romance lesson, too.”

Cloud was sure his face was red as he fixated his gaze on his plate, trying his best not to think about that night. He’d adamantly denied all the memories whenever they crept up, just the same way he’d denied the feeling in his stomach whenever the thoughts somehow made it to the surface despite his efforts.

“It’s all good, Spike,” Zack assured him with a kind smile. “I know what it’s like when Gen gets in the zone. He was trying to get a reaction outta you, and it worked.”

“I wanted him to kiss me,” he admitted, shaking his head at his own words. The absence of surprise on Zack’s face told him his friend already knew as much, confirming his suspicion that Genesis had read his body language perfectly that night. “He’s my friend. My friend who’s in a committed relationship with _you,_ and my other friends. Not to mention the fact I had my own boyfriend at the time.”

“Gen’s got that irresistible factor,” Zack insisted, like there was nothing awkward about this conversation. “He knows how to use it. And when.”

“That fake date he took me on was the best one I’ve been on in years.”

Zack didn’t so much as bat an eye at that either. “I told you, he’s good at this stuff. That’s why I’m sayin’ he’s your type. I’m sure we can find you someone with some romance in them when you’re ready to date again.”

Right, because there were so many people around ShinRa tower who were like _Genesis._ Cloud did his best to hide his doubts, sure it didn’t matter anyway. It wasn’t like he was going to be ready anytime soon anyway. The more he thought about it, the more unappealing the idea became. Something told him finding a person who could sweep him off his feet wouldn’t be as simple as Zack seemed to think.

“I’ll let you know when I’m ready, but until then, let’s not talk about this,” Cloud requested, guilt running through him as quickly as his heart was now beating.

“You think you’re the first person to have a crush on one of my boyfriends?” Zack joked, a bad attempt at lightening the mood. Hearing it in such blunt terms was doing nothing to calm Cloud down. “It’s fine. I mean, I’m a little offended it’s not me, but I understand the appeal.”

“Offended?” Cloud scoffed, fairly sure Zack was well aware that Cloud _had_ harbored an innocent crush on him for an extended period of time back when they’d first met. It had long since passed, but that didn’t mean there weren’t moments over the years when he had to shake the thought from his head. “Like you don’t have enough admirers anyway. Half the tower wishes they had a chance with you.”

“But no cute blonds,” Zack winked.

“I can think of a few, actually.”

Zack let out a long sigh, using Genesis-like exasperation. “You never did know how to take a compliment.”

“Well, you’re being weird,” Cloud told him flatly.

“I was just trying to lighten the mood!”

It took a moment before Cloud accepted that response, eventually conceding a nod. “Thank you, then.”

“Hey, do you wanna go back to my place after this? Seph bought me that new game we’ve been talkin’ about, but I haven’t had the chance to play yet.”

“Yeah,” Cloud agreed, no thought necessary.

Anything to put an end to this conversation and forget it ever happened. There was something so strange about the look in Zack’s eyes, and it was almost unsettling. The last thing he wanted to do was make his friend uncomfortable, or like his harmless crush meant a lot more than it did.

A little dose of normal was exactly what he needed right now to get back on track.

\-----

By the time Luxiere was officially in a new relationship, Cloud had given up on waiting. It wasn’t strictly that he wanted to find his own boyfriend just because Luxiere had, but the single life wasn’t exactly everything Cloud hoped it would be. For a few months it was fine, but the more time passed, the more he yearned for the type of companionship he used to share with Luxiere. The kind of companionship his friends shared with each other.

There was no denying the fact Cloud found himself watching their interactions with far more interest than ever before, his stomach in knots as he watched them indulge and support one another. It was a feeling he knew—jealousy. They had each other while he had no one, and that was a situation he hadn’t been in for as long as he’d known them.

Sure, they supported him as well, but he was an outsider—there was a distinct difference, leading Cloud to the simple conclusion that he needed to find someone to fill the void that had started to form in his chest.

So far it wasn’t going well.

“He confessed his love to you?” Sephiroth inquired, looking just as uncomfortable as Cloud had felt.

A first date was definitely not the time nor place for a love confession. “We hadn’t even ordered appetizers yet. Apparently he’s been interested in me for a long time now.”

“Where did you find this man?”

“Zack helped me,” he admitted, silently vowing to pick out his next date on his own. “A while back he was telling me I should find someone a bit more romantic than Lux, and he’d already picked someone out by the time I was willing to go.”

“Someone like Genesis,” Sephiroth concluded, unaffected by Cloud’s scowl. Why did everyone want to keep saying that? Surely enough time had passed now. He didn’t blush or stare or do anything out of the ordinary around the redhead, instead behaving the way he had for years—the way he acted around _all_ of them. “I can see the appeal, but perhaps romance should be a secondary quality.”

“What do you mean?”

“Genesis possesses other important qualities. His intelligence and wit are second to none, both of which were the first characteristics that drew me to him.”

“So…I should look for someone smart, who also happens to be romantic?”

“Not necessarily. You should look for someone with whom you can converse comfortably,” Sephiroth explained. “Someone more like Angeal, perhaps. I’ve learned over the years he is equally romantic when the mood suits him, and would never think to ruin an outing with unwelcome advances.”

Cloud stared at his friend suspiciously for a moment, but quickly realized Sephiroth was genuinely trying to help. His expression was nothing but earnest, like it was important for him that Cloud succeed next time around.

Really, it wasn’t bad advice. There were tons of appealing things about Angeal, all of which Cloud had noticed over the years—and it didn’t all revolve around his cooking abilities. The man was a giant, sculpted teddy bear, constantly surprising Cloud with his compassion and perspective. They’d always shared a deep connection, or at least Cloud liked to think so.

“There’s only one Angeal Hewley,” Cloud stated, shaking the thought from his head. “Last I checked, he wasn’t available.”

“You would be interested if he were?”

“Uh…am I really supposed to answer that?” he wondered, raising both brows. The last thing he needed was another Genesis situation, but something in Sephiroth’s gaze told him this was a private conversation. It was a subject Cloud had never truly allowed himself to consider, but the answer was somehow simple to discover. “Yeah, I would be. Ang is definitely boyfriend material.”

Sephiroth stared at him for a moment longer than usual, his eyes calculating in a way Cloud rarely witnessed. “There may only be one Angeal, but you have many friends. There may be one who is available.”

“I dunno, Seph,” he responded, already racking his brain. A few names came to mind, but no one he’d ever considered as anything beyond a friend. “I feel most comfortable with you guys.”

“Perhaps you should consider asking one of us, then.”

“Right,” Cloud snorted, holding Sephiroth’s gaze. “You wanna go on a date with me, Seph?”

“Yes,” Sephiroth answered with ease, knocking the wind right out of Cloud. “You appear surprised. Why?”

“Because…you’re _you._ You have three incredible boyfriends already!” Cloud exclaimed, rattling off the first couple of what was surely an extensive list of reasons. “Why would you want to go on a date with _me?”_

“I can assure you, I am not the only one.”

“You mean…?” Cloud hesitated, but Sephiroth’s nod provided the answer anyway, the thought causing his heart to beat erratically in his chest. “Even Zack?”

Sephiroth nodded again. “Angeal and Genesis as well.”

Cloud’s brows shot up, his mind already telling him to calm down because it just wasn’t possible. Sure, they were all good friends, but really? Their relationship was solid, and it made no sense to mess with a dynamic that was clearly already working well without him. Maybe he’d humored thoughts about each of them at various points, but never seriously.

Granted, part of that was because he was already in a committed relationship of his own…Still, it wasn’t suddenly simple just because he was single now. No matter how much he cared for each of them, all he’d do is disrupt the balance they’d worked so hard to create over the years.

“You are free to say no and attempt to date someone like Angeal, if you prefer. I suspect the result will be a long conversation with Genesis in which he indicates you should find someone more like Zackary.”

“And then Ang will tell me to find someone like you?” he guessed slowly.

“It is possible. We have not discussed this subject specifically.”

“But you’ve discussed me,” Cloud realized, heart jumping when Sephiroth didn’t attempt to deny it. “What’d you talk about?”

“Your name has come up periodically throughout the years.”

He blinked again, disbelief in his features. “And no one ever thought to mention that to me?”

“We respected your relationship, as you have respected ours.”

“Do they know you’re telling me all this?” Cloud wondered, raising both brows when Sephiroth shook his head. “Why now then? Why just you?”

“We reached an agreement shortly after your breakup with Luxiere. No one was to breach the subject unless the timing felt right.”

“You think it feels right _now_?”

“You have not denied your interest in Genesis despite having had countless opportunities to do so. You also referred to Angeal as boyfriend material this evening,” Sephiroth reminded him. “I have witnessed enough of your interactions with Zack to conclude the chemistry between you has only grown in recent months.”

“And you?”

“Unless I am mistaken, you are as invested in our time together as I am.”

“I…” It was so much. _Too_ much, all at once. There weren’t even words to express how overwhelmed he felt, especially with Sephiroth’s sheer certainty cracking, revealing what could only be concern. Clearly he hadn’t expected this reaction from Cloud. “It’s not that I’m not, but Seph…You can’t just come out and say all this out of the blue.”

“Honesty has proven to be a successful strategy in the past.”

“I’m glad you’re being honest, but I need some time,” Cloud told him, surprisingly calm despite how fast his heart was beating and mind was reeling. “Maybe I should go.”

“Please stay,” Sephiroth responded, watching Cloud’s every movement as he stood up. “We do not need to discuss this further today.”

“You want to pretend this didn’t happen?”

“No, but I see no reason for the night to be spoiled. Our friendship has been unaffected by our interest for long enough. That does not need to change now that you are aware.”

Cloud couldn’t really argue with that logic, slowly settling back into his seat before another question came to mind. “How long has it been?”

“It is different for each of us,” Sephiroth answered.

“What about you then?”

“I suspect I was the first to seriously consider you as something more than a friend.”

That only prompted more questions—what did that mean, suspected? Had they not actually discussed Cloud as a serious possibility? What _had_ they discussed, then? Somehow asking didn’t seem fair though, not when Sephiroth had already told him so much and he’d said so little in return.

“I had a big thing for Zack when I first met him,” Cloud admitted quietly, hand on the back of his neck. “He was just so fun—so _different_ from anyone I’d ever met. I used to go home feeling guilty after spending time with him.”

“It is not as if anything happened to warrant guilt.”

“No, but I was with Lux. He was with you. It felt wrong to think about even if nothing ever happened.”

“Zack considered you something of a little brother back then,” Sephiroth told him, a small smile pulling at the side of his mouth when Cloud laughed. Of course he had. He’d really taken Cloud under his wing, guiding him through his early days as a SOLDIER. “I believe he took the longest to accept you as a possibility.”

“Gen hated me at first,” Cloud mused, chuckling softly at those memories.

“It was not personal.”

Cloud knew that now, though he’d been far less understanding back then. “Ang used to tell me the same thing. That was how we first started talking so much. He’d be reassuring me one minute, then we’d be talking about everything else the next.”

“He has always been fond of you.”

“It’s mutual,” Cloud responded with ease. No doubt he was fond of them all. He wasn’t so selfish though. “You guys are solid without me.”

“Solid, yes. I believe we would be happier with you.”

Happier? They were already happy. It seemed like as the years rolled by, they grew even _happier,_ the ease of their dynamic growing more fluid in time.

And Cloud, he was a bit of a train wreck still. He’d already let one long term relationship slip between his fingers without much care, only to discover his ex-boyfriend was much better off without him. He’d seen it with his own eyes. Luxiere had finally introduced Cloud to his new boyfriend, smiling in a way Cloud hadn’t seen since their infantry days together. It all clicked in his head at that moment.

He’d been holding Luxiere back. No way would he do the same to Sephiroth, or any of his other friends.

\-----

It wasn’t a huge surprise when Genesis turned up at his door for a change, hands on his hips as Cloud muttered an unsolicited apology. He may or may not have been avoiding his friends between his missions, holing up in his apartment and shooting off lame text message excuses when they asked what he was up to on any given day.

“I don’t want an apology, I want an explanation,” Genesis insisted, inviting himself inside without delay.

Cloud took his time shutting the door, not quite sure where to begin. The truth felt like a good start. “I just needed some time to myself.”

“I thought you’d gotten past these irrational behaviors. You haven’t shut yourself off like this in years.”

“It’s not irrational, and it never really stopped,” Cloud said firmly. _“_ I always want to be alone when I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“And yet you always came to one of us instead.”

“Well, yeah, because I thought you could help.”

“I can’t help you now?”

“Not when it’s about you,” Cloud responded, arms folded across his chest.

“Excuse me?” Genesis quirked a brow, waiting in vain for another response. “What exactly is it I’m supposed to have done to run you off? The last time I saw you, we had a lovely evening.”

“Not you specifically. All of you. And you didn’t _do_ anything, it’s just a lot to think about.”

_“What_ is a lot to think about?”

“You already know,” he grumbled, expression sour.

“I’m not sure I do.”

Cloud scoffed. “Right, because Seph would just unload all that on me and _not_ tell you.”

“Unload what?” Genesis persisted, looking far too annoyed and impatient for it to be an act.

That was when it dawned on Cloud that maybe Sephiroth hadn’t said anything. Sure, part of him had hoped the conversation would be private, but he hadn’t really expected it to be. That wasn’t how Sephiroth’s relationship worked. Why in Gaia would he choose to keep _this_ a secret?

“He told me you were all interested in me,” Cloud revealed, deciding blunt was the best way to diffuse Genesis’ annoyance. Judging by the stunned expression he got in response, he was right. “Seriously interested.”

“Oh,” Genesis blinked, quick to gather his composure. “Well, I suppose he’s right.”

“You suppose?”

“Yes, though he really shouldn’t have told you that without discussing it with us first. Clearly the timing was all wrong if you’ve holed yourself up here just to avoid us.”

“I just wanted to clear my head. I didn’t mean to avoid you or make you worry.”

Genesis’ expression softened in an instant, and then he was on Cloud just as fast, pulling him in for an indulgent hug. “I’m not sure what he said to you, dear, but I hope you realize we have no intention of pressuring you to join us.”

“Right. You were just gonna tell me to date people who reminded me of you all until I took the hint.”

_“What?”_

“Zack told me I should date someone like you,” Cloud explained, pulling back enough to meet Genesis’ eyes. “Then Seph was saying I should find someone like Ang since that didn’t work. He seemed to think you’d tell me to date someone like Zack if that went bad, and then Ang would tell me—”

“Any advice I’ve ever given you has always been with your best interests in mind,” Genesis told him, his tone very clear. “Never my own.”

Cloud was inclined to believe it, especially as he thought about all the advice they’d given him over the years—including their strong attempts at helping him salvage things with Luxiere. Still, the whole thing felt off for some reason. “Yeah, well. Then he basically told me I should skip all that and ask one of you out instead.”

“Did you give him any indication you were interested? Sephiroth hasn’t always been known to read these situations well, but I’ve never known him to be so terribly wrong.”

“It’s not that he was wrong, it’s just…”

“What?”

“I could ruin everything,” he said, heart sinking at the thought. The flash of understanding on Genesis’ face didn’t really help. Was his concern shared among several of them? “I’d rather keep things the way they are than do something to cause trouble for you guys.”

“Yet here you are, behaving in a way that’s unrecognizable. Do you truly believe I’m the only one you’ve upset recently?”

Oh. That might’ve actually been a decent point. “What should I do then?”

“If you want to be our friend, then be our friend. The same applies to anything else. So long as you know we’re open to more, the choice is yours. Just don’t do _this._ Don’t shut me out.”

“I want to be friends,” Cloud responded tentatively.

“Very well. What would you like to do this evening then?”

“Um…” His plans had consisted of ordering takeout and avoiding his PHS. “How do you feel about pizza?”

Genesis snorted. “Should I call Zack instead? I’m sure he’s eager to see you as well.”

“I already ordered,” Cloud responded with a tiny smile. “I thought it was here when you knocked.”

“No wonder you looked so disappointed,” Genesis mused, offense still lingering in his tone.

“I’m never disappointed to see you.”

Just because he was the type to stick to himself when he needed to think didn’t mean he was a liar. The way Genesis was eyeing him was so appraising, and it was only when the redhead gave a nod that Cloud knew his friend believed his firm words.

The real pizza man arrived before the silence could be awkward, Cloud hurrying to get the door. Genesis had settled on his couch by the time he’d signed for the order, much to his amusement. It was a well-known fact Cloud had little tolerance for eating pizza at the dinner table, but Genesis much preferred dining there regardless of who was eating what.

“If you’re trying to win me over, it’s working,” he joked, setting the box right down on the coffee table and opening it up. The mildly displeased look on Genesis’ face made it all worth it. “See? Maybe you don’t want me as a boyfriend at all.”

“It would take a lot more than a pizza box to convince me of that, dear.”

He eyed the box for a long moment, realizing it was probably true. How long had Genesis known he did things like this? Sure, he cleaned up after himself, but in order to do that, there had to be a mess to clean in the first place.

“How’d you know it was right with Zack?” Cloud wondered, sure the man in question had been the one to give Cloud some of these habits.

“It took some time to realize. I’m sure you can imagine I wasn’t his biggest fan when we first met.”

“You’re not anyone’s biggest fan.”

“Not when they dominate the attention of someone I love,” Genesis responded unapologetically. “The same way Zack became infatuated with you, Angeal became infatuated with him.”

“It wasn’t like that though,” Cloud insisted. “Seph said he thought of me like a brother back then!”

“Perhaps he did. Either way, you had a way of occupying vast quantities of his free time. The way you looked at him didn’t help. Boyfriend or not, I could see you were smitten.”

There was no point in denying it. “I didn’t mean to cause any problems. I never would’ve—”

“I’m well aware, dear. It’s long since forgotten.”

“How’d you know adding him wouldn’t mess everything up with you and Ang and Seph?”

Genesis, to his surprise, leaned forward and snagged the very first slice, taking his time to nibble at it as he considered the question fully. “It wasn’t so different from when Angeal joined Sephiroth and I. None of us could be certain what might happen.”

“That’s kind of scary.”

“But worthwhile, given the depth of our feelings for Zack. By the time he approached us, it was impossible to say no.”

Cloud’s eyes went wide. “Wait, _he_ asked _you?”_

“Is it truly so surprising? Zack’s as impatient as me on most days,” Genesis said, every word as fond as the last. “He knew what he wanted long before we’d fully discussed the topic.”

“I’d never even thought about it,” Cloud admitted quietly. “Joining you guys.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Genesis replied with a shrug.

“I’ve thought about _you,”_ he continued, trying his best not to look away despite how liberating it felt saying these things out loud. “I’ve thought about all of you at different points. Never together though, as a group.”

“Would you truly want us separately?” the redhead countered, raising a brow.

It was a strange question to think about. Of course he would—they were all wonderful in their own, unique ways. There were some overlapping qualities as well, and each seemed to bring out the best in Cloud.

Kind of like they brought out the best in each other, Cloud realized, stilling as the question really sank in. As much as he adored all four of his friends, he also adored the way they acted around each other. The way Angeal could bring out Zack’s calm side one day, just to have Zack turn around and bring out Angeal’s wild side the next. The way Sephiroth and Genesis would have the most heated book debates, and then the most romantic dates…

There was a strong connection between each of them—facets that only the others seemed to bring to the surface.

“No,” Cloud admitted. “You’re better together.”

Judging by the look on Genesis’ face, that was the right answer.

\-----

Things weren’t as awkward as Cloud thought they might be, knowing that all four of his friends were aware he’d essentially turned them down. No one asked again or asked why—in fact, aside from Sephiroth’s apology for bringing it up in the first place, the subject seemed to be off limits.

It was like it never happened. Their friendships carried on just as close as they had been, and that alone gave Cloud more relief than he could’ve imagined. Nothing had to change. They were fine without him, and that was exactly what he’d wanted.

Except it also kind of sucked.

“How’ve the dates been going?” Angeal inquired, genuine curiosity in his voice.

Cloud shrugged. “Shitty. I stopped trying a couple weeks ago.”

Because for every person he went out with who tried to be romantic, all he could do was think about how Genesis was so much smoother with his words. For every friend he indulged, all he could think was it would never be as simple as it was talking to Angeal. Every exciting new acquaintance was never quite as funny as Zack, and every awkward silence was never as easy as it was with Sephiroth. There was no contest.

Eventually he’d given up his efforts to find people with similar qualities, instead picking out dates based on simpler things—sometimes a bit shallow, sometimes a bit particular. He’d pick someone physically attractive, or someone he met shopping his favorite section at the bookstore. _Anything_ that wasn’t a direct result of having some similarity to one of his friends.

Somehow the comparisons always persisted though, whether he was consciously aware or not.

“Maybe you were trying too hard,” Angeal reasoned, a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Sometimes the right person shows up when you least expect it.”

Cloud nodded his head silently, forcing a smile as he met Angeal’s eyes. “Yeah, maybe.”

“Or maybe they’ve been there all along. That’s what happened with me and Gen.”

“How _did_ that happen?” he asked slowly, having never heard that part of the story. For the longest time, he’d assumed Angeal and Genesis had gotten together first, but apparently not. “Did you get jealous when he got with Seph, or…?”

“Jealous wouldn’t be the right word,” Angeal answered, shaking his head. “It was a relief when they got together. Anyone could see they made each other happy.”

“But you didn’t like it.”

“I felt like they were leaving me behind,” he admitted, a deep frown taking over his features. “It wasn’t the easiest time for me.”

“How’d you get past it then?”

“Gradually. They’d invite me along to certain outings—you know how Gen can be. He’d insist I wasn’t interfering with anything,” Angeal explained with a growing smile. “I’d already hit the point where things were natural with Sephiroth. It was just something we didn’t talk about though.”

“So you were dating without really dating?”

“Essentially, yes. It was all very casual and unofficial until Gen snapped one day. I didn’t even realize it at the time, but I’d been holding Seph’s hand under the table.”

Cloud’s heart spiked at that, the words eerily familiar. “It could’ve been platonic.”

“It could’ve been, but it wasn’t. Not anymore.”

“So Gen called you guys out, and the rest is history?”

“Not exactly,” Angeal answered, shifting where he sat. “I didn’t want to ruin what they had, so I told Gen he was wrong. That he was seeing something that wasn’t there.”

“He got angry, didn’t he?”

“No, he was surprisingly patient about the whole thing. Eventually I came around, but only after talking to each of them and realizing how much we all wanted it to work. It was never just me hoping for the best, and that was what I needed to know.”

Cloud looked down at his lap, the weight of Angeal’s gaze somehow making it easier for him to say what he needed to say. “There’s something here,” he started, glancing up. “With me and you. With me and _them._ ”

“Yes, there is.”

“You’re all I can think about every time I go out, even before Seph told me about all this. Even at the end of my relationship with Lux. I just didn’t want…”

“I know,” Angeal assured him calmly. “It’s okay, Cloud. This isn’t a decision you should rush into.”

“When you guys were telling me how to fix things with Lux…I think I knew then. It was like you guys were telling me to fix it by making it like it was when I was with you.”

“That was never our intention,” Angeal told him, brows furrowed. “We had no reason to believe Luxiere made you unhappy at the time. We _wanted_ it to work out for you.”

“You don’t think it’s weird though? Even back then I…” He shook his head slowly. “I don’t see how you could want me.”

“Is that what this is about? Why you turned the option down when Sephiroth told you?”

“Kind of. It just seems like you guys already happy enough without me anyway. Why mess with that?”

“We’ve had our rough patches, but Cloud, you have to realize—since we’ve known you, we’ve been at our happiest,” Angeal said, a kind smile on his face when Cloud raised a skeptical brow. “The transition into something more will be a lot simpler than you think. If that’s what you want, that is.”

“You don’t think it’s too late?”

“I think we would’ve waited a lot longer if it meant having you.”

“Can we wait until tomorrow to tell them?” Cloud asked, hand covering Angeal’s as he attempted to lift his phone—undoubtedly to text his boyfriends about this discussion.

“Are you worried you’ll change your mind?”

“No,” he said quickly, shaking his head for good measure. “I just don’t want it to be a big thing.”

“There’s going to be a conversation about this one way or another.”

“And there will be. You’re sure everyone else is good with this?”

“More than good. We’ve talked about this extensively—we agreed to give you however much time and space you needed to come to your own conclusions, but Cloud…this is absolutely the outcome we were all hoping for.”

“I want to be the one to tell everyone. One on one,” Cloud ventured, looking at his soon-to-be boyfriend hopefully. “No group meeting where I’m the center of attention.”

“It’ll have to be tomorrow then. I’m not good at keeping secrets, and neither is Zack.”

“Well, it’s a good thing it’s not a secret.”

Angeal seemed content with that answer, letting Cloud mull over exactly what he’d say to the others without pestering for specifics. It was actually exciting to think about. Genesis would probably huff and make some offhand comment about how it was about time before proceeding to act as if it changed very little. Zack would make it easy enough, too, he suspected. He’d probably turn on his brightest smile and ask Cloud to dinner right on the spot.

Mostly though, he was eager to talk to Sephiroth. To ask him on a real date, the way he deserved after what happened last time. No doubt his silver haired friend had been carrying around some guilt for overwhelming Cloud, and that wasn’t fair. There had been some logic behind Sephiroth’s decision to tell Cloud, even if it hadn’t worked out at the time.

“Do you think Seph would let me take him somewhere out of the city?”

“I think Seph would let you take him anywhere,” Angeal answered easily.

“What about you?” Cloud wondered.

“I’d go with you, but I’m just as happy to stay here,” he responded, draping an arm around Cloud’s shoulder much the same way he had hundreds of times before. It felt just as warm and comfortable as always, with some mysterious new element that had his heart racing unnecessarily.

Normally he’d lean into Angeal when they were like this, so he found himself doing just that, curious how he’d never thought twice about it before. Probably because it really _had_ been platonic. The only difference was in his heart and mind, and somehow that was everything.

It certainly provided him with some much needed clarity.

“I like this,” Cloud decided, smirking as he felt the soft rumble of Angeal’s chuckle.

“I like this, too.”

\-----

A handful of dates later, it was safe to say Angeal had been right. The transition from friends to boyfriends was a lot simpler than anticipated—a lot more exciting, too. Without any accompanying guilt or innate need to deny his feelings, all that was left were butterflies and blushes every time one of his boyfriends did something…well, boyfriend-ish.

It was unexpected considering how affectionate their friendships had been to begin with, but Cloud certainly wasn’t complaining. Each of them had their own way of leaving Cloud breathless—some with a look, others with a kiss. Not to mention how much fun it was figuring out all the ways to do the exact same thing to them.

His favorite moments, though…those were the ones when he looked around the room and all of his boyfriends were there. The moments when he realized not everything had changed after all, sitting in Zack’s lap while his boyfriend finger doodled on his back.

“It’s either Angeal’s sword, or his—”

“I would advise against completing that sentence,” Sephiroth interjected, clearly aware of the stern look Angeal was now shooting in Zack’s direction.

Not that Zack cared. “Which is it?” he pressed, tracing his fingers in the same pattern one last time.

“Clearly it’s a trick question,” Genesis chimed in, tsking.

Zack just shrugged behind him, not giving anything away as the silence drew out.

“It has to be the sword,” Cloud finally decided.

“Wrong!”

He pivoted in Zack’s lap, eyes narrow as he jabbed a finger in the man’s chest. “That’s cheating, you know. You can’t draw something I’ve never seen.”

“Except you have!” Zack insisted, eyes lit up with amusement. “Don’t think I forgot that time you walked in when—”

“That was at least two years ago!”

“Yeah, and it’s not exactly somethin' anyone would forget.”

“Unbelievable,” Cloud grumbled, no real heat in his voice.

“Ang _is_ pretty unbelievable,” Zack agreed with a wink.

“Remind me again why I like you?”

“Uh, because I’m hilarious,” he began, already cracking a big grin, “and I’ve got cute boyfriends.”

Cloud snorted, eyes roaming the room briefly to see what the others thought of that logic. Of course Genesis was dismissive, muttering to Sephiroth how _he_ couldn’t come up with a much smoother response to a question like that. Naturally Sephiroth agreed, but not before sending Cloud a look that was far more than ‘cute’. And Angeal…he was just shaking his head, pretending not to be the least bit amused by any of it despite the smile pulling at the corner of his lips. Everything about the scene in front of him warmed his heart, so happy to be a small part of this crazy, beautiful relationship.

By the time his eyes were back on Zack, they were both smiling at each other. “I guess you’re right,” Cloud admitted.

His boyfriend _were_ pretty cute, among other things. Many, many other things.


End file.
